The New Me

21 pounds lighter

 

Exhibit A. Bulging midsection, massive thighs and legs reminiscent of Eddie Murphy in “The Nutty Professor”.
Exhibit A1. Double, err, triple chin. Puto- like cheeks. Circumferential expansion of the neck (or more appropriately, disappearance of the neck).
Exhibit A2. Saddlebags and beer handles galore.


Verdict: By a unanimous vote, the Court of Gluttony found Silverscreensurfer guilty of being fat and upon the recommendation of this court, he is sentenced to a minimum of 150 push ups a day for the next six months, and is ordered to stay at least 200 yards from all major fast-food chains.

That’s it. My Chicken Burger days are over. I snapped from my cheesecake coma and found that I have ballooned into 158 lbs. So I guess it would be bollocks to hide behind excuses: I got fat, period. Let’s all laugh about it, har-har-har!

It all feels weird since I’ve never had a weight issue before. Well not until people who are dear to me have started labeling me “Mojacko”. When I was growing up, I’ve been called a lot of things but fat wasn’t one of them. It was always “ting-ting” (reed-thin) or “pihikan” (picky eater). There was a time when I’ve been guilty of habitually chucking my meals in the bin just because I didn’t have the appetite. (Oh, what I would give to relive those lovely anorexic years!)

Flashforward to summer of 2009, food occupies either positions one or two in my top three thoughts for the day. All my shirts look one size smaller and my cheeks—the horror!—looks like the local bakery has stuffed me with too much pan de agua.

What’s more, it seems like everywhere I looked, forces of nature were conspiring to compel me to do something about my weight. Sometime in July, I turned on the TV and chanced upon an episode on obesity in a lifestyle program. It featured an overweight guy who got a botched liposuction and has hanging remnants of excess skin around the waist. Enter the surgeon’s voiceover: “Life is happier for thinner, taller, more attractive people.” Revolted, I switched programs to Oprah where the camera was focused on a sorry- looking teenage girl. Oprah, off- cam: “Coming up, the story of a 136 lb. teenager who got bullied because of her weight!”

Too much.

This has got to stop. No more procrastinating. I’ve got to adhere to a healthier lifestyle before I become a candidate for abdominal lipectomy: Enough of the “Mojacko” jeers. I need to transform!

Part of my "getting thin" agenda are the following: sign up for a gym, get a nutritionist and participate in more physical activities. Tall order, isn’t it? I gave myself four months and I told myself, if my plan backfires, heck, I can always go back to Chicken burger with the very appetizing grease at the bottom of the wrapper.

With the square-jawed determination of a Marine, I began my journey towards losing weight. For dramatic purposes, I called it “Project: Transformation”.

1. Turning Into a Gym Rat. I signed up for a one-year membership at a fitness center near my area at the prodding of my gym rat of an officemate. I was a skeptic at first but thought it would be a nice start. The first few weeks were an ordeal; I went home with my body sore from all the cardio and weight-lifting I did. But after a few weeks, going to the gym became a habit. The treadmill became my bestfriend. When I started noticing my body fat turning into muscles, I realized that the pain was all worth it.

2. Diet! Diet! Diet! This is the hardest part. For a person like me who consumes two cups of rice per meal, sticking to a healthy diet is next to impossible. You know what I did? I posted my most unflattering picture on the fridge for inspiration. I also met with a nutritionist and asked for professional advice. She gave me a diet schedule and consistently monitored my progress. Soon enough, the junk food, chocolates and soda in my fridge were replaced with fruits, oatmeal crackers and sports jelly beans. I must admit though, occasionally, I rewarded myself with a slice of cheesecake for a job well done.


3. Getting Hooked on Running. In my quest for fitness, I was bitten by the running bug. There are about a gazillion fun races organized by small and big organizations and I signed up for a few of them. I did the Ayala Eco-Dash in September, the Octoberun Festival, The Timex Run in November and more recently, the Philstar Celebrity Run. The fun in running is the fact that it’s a lone sport – you set your own goals and your own pace. It also doesn’t entail much special equipment and the cost is not prohibitive. It also was a good excuse to buy new running shoes.

And so it can be told. After four months of slaving it off at the gym and dieting like hell, "Project: Transformation" finally paid off. I am now 21 pounds lighter and mighty proud of it. I can now slip into my old size 32 jeans without holding my tummy in. Heck, I can now even hit the beach with the confidence of a Baywatch cast (Lol). And the compliments I’ve been getting from people have been overwhelming.

Of course, the transformation doesn’t end here. The real challenge is to maintain my ideal weight and to have the gumption to say “No” to beer baths, cheesecake binge and sinful sisig nights. Am I up for the challenge? Hell, yeah!?!

How about you? Still waiting for that life-changing transformation to happen? Start with a healthy body that has loads of energy, good immunity and perfectly glowing skin. Experience the change with GlutaMAX. 

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